Genre: Angst, Warning;character death
Disclaimer: Humans can't be owned (Or shouldn't be, can someone tell it to Lee Soo Man-sshi?)
Pairing: Not specified
Summary: Ever since the beginning you brought red roses to apologize, even if the fight hadn't been a major one.
A/N: I was listening to Here Comes the Rain Again by Hypnogaja and this just popped up.
It could actually be linked to a series that I'm writing, but for now it's just a separate piece.
This doesn't have a specific pairing, but when I was writing this Siwon and Hangeng kept appearing in my head so.. But if you find someone else more suitable then feel free to picture whoever you want :)
Hope you enjoy.
~Here comes the rain again~
I replayed the melody as I stood by the window, watching as the rear lights of your car receded from me. Headlights splitting the mist and darkness, momentarily displaying the country scenery.
I turned around and set to walk out of the room, my steps halting in front of the dark-wooded dresser. On top of it sat many photos, one particularly caught my eye and I gently picked it up, tracing my finger along the decorated frame.
~Falling on my head like a memory~
I smiled back at the photo, remembering the day when it was taken.
Happy smiles, friends and a party outside, celebration for our beginning.
I feel thudding in my chest as I think back at that time,
suddenly the quietness of the house hit my nerves.
The happy feeling giving room for the awaiting darkness,
anxiousness that had been sneaking around in the corners of my soul for quite some time already.
~Falling on my head like a new emotion~
I laid the picture back onto the dresser, the photography pressed against the tabletop,
hidden from my sight.
Sighing, I ignored the feeling that tried to claw it's way to my chest and continued my track towards the dining room, the romantic setting for two now only a mocking reminding of how it used to be.
The candle's were still lit, glowing warm light into the room when I entered.
Seating myself across your empty seat, I return to my now cold dinner, picking a small piece of meat and chewing it slowly, pushing the food back and forth on the plate, appetite long gone.
Sighing, I stand up picking my plate and glass, before rounding the table to your side.
Taking the napkin I sweep away the food that was scattered over the tablecloth, fork laying some distance away from the plate.
I remember how you flicked it from your hand before storming out, doors banging and the peaceful dinner left in the middle.
~I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean~
I dump the leftovers into the trash-bin,
ignoring the swirling sadness as I stared at the wasted food.
This is not who you used to be
Unsure whether the feelings were for the food or the dinner altogether,
since this shouldn't be too new to me anymore.
With the plates rinsed and placed into the dish-machine I walk back to the hallway, shivering as cold air hits me.
Turning on my heels, I see the front door ajar, cold air gushing in,
leaves colored in autumn dancing with it, landing down on the elegant
Striding over I pull the door closed, hearing the lock clank as the security system activated.
I peek out of the glass window, the abstract figure consisting of various shades in red,orange and blue.
Closing my other eye, I gaze trough the orange one, and for a while it seemed like the world was once again filled with sunshine, until my eyes dropped and I saw blue again.
Even the door denied me a moment in happiness.
"Is it raining with you?~"
I whisper silently, wondering how far you had gotten already,
If you were still under the same clouded sky as me.
Humming softly I turn back towards the hallway,
almost soundlessly shuffling down to the dining room,
crack of orangeish light creeping on the carpet, reminding me of the still burning candles.
The wax burned when it hit my skin as I carelessly moved the candle after blowing it.
But the pain was soon gone,leaving behind a faintly red dot of wax on my hand.
Without a second thought, I re-light the candle, watching with mild interest as the red mass slowly dissolved into liquid and I poured bits of it onto me, across my hand, arm, leaving abstract marks on my skin.
The candle smashed against the wall, red spots darting across the white clean surface.
I chuckle and turn away from the sight, disappointed that I had missed the photoframe by mere inches.
I stare at the smoke as it twirled in the air, greyish strings that rose from the last candle, before dissolving in the surrounding air, only a faint scent left behind.
I picked one of red rose from the vase, smile flailing when the flower drooped, petals scattering over my hand and floating down to the ground, the white underneath contrasting the red specks, even in the dark room.
The flowers had already wilted in the vase, and then I remembered they hadn't gotten any water, the surprise bouquet had only been quickly placed as a centre decoration on the already set table.
I picked another one that seemed to be still perky and moved trough the archway into the cozy library-study room, heavy smell of books surrounding me.
Perching myself on to the window bench, I let my gaze wonder around the room, taking in all the colorful books that rested on the ceiling-high shelves.
The air was chillier in this room than the others, since no-one really used it anymore.
I gazed longingly towards the fireplace, suddenly the image of us displayed before my eyes.
The fireplace crackling and our laughs echoing as I sat in your lap and we talked.
Chuckling to myself I remember a time when we had stayed up all night, neither of us realizing the time until the warmth of the fire was accompanied by sun-rays that reached gently towards us from the window.
Your smile shining as brightly as the sun when you picked me in your arms, laughing and nuzzling my neck, before carrying me upstairs.
~So baby talk to me
Like lovers do
Walk with me
Like lovers do
Talk to me
Like lovers do~
Those were the times when nothing bothered us,
and in those mornings after we had ended up staying in the library trough-out the night, you'd stay home, allowing yourself one day to work from home, just so that we could snuggle for an early morning sleep and eat late breakfast in the patio.
After that you usually pulled me for a stroll around the garden or to the little lake just beyond the trees.
Those morning were usually spent in comfortable silence, apart from the sweet -love yous'.
I get up from my seat, wondering if I could see the lake trough this stormy weather.
~Here comes the rain again
Raining in my head like a tragedy~
On my way up the stairs, I slide my finger's over the wall, feeling the patterns of the luxurious red and gold tapestry. You had been reluctant on getting it first, since it was too 'pompous' in your opinion, but after you saw it on the wall's, you had to admit it fitted perfectly
into the house, just like we did.
But even the tapestry showed marks on how long it had lasted, little welts here and there and I truly felt that it represented us, fading in color as we were fading in existence.
My footsteps echo slightly in the quiet, empty hallways as I waltzed trough them, the flower clutched in my hand as I continued to hum the melody that had replayed in my mind ever since this morning.
I pushed open the door to the 'studio',which had previously been the master bedroom,
until you wanted to change it, since this was the biggest room that had sun shining into it most of the day, and the balcony was big enough for me to practice dancing outside if I wanted.
The grand piano was seated near the balcony doors, you used to play it and watch as I practiced my ballet moves, sliding across the balcony tiles, twirling and turning, losing into the music that flowed from your hands.
I open the lid and ran my hand over the keys, missing the sounds that you used to play, songs that I didn't know or the ones you played impromptu, never failing to amaze me with the ease that your hands glided over the keys, notes always accurate and strong.
I pressed a few notes experimentally, fingers soon pressing on more eagerly as the music seemed to flow trough me and out of my hands, the song I hadn't played in a long time still
living inside my body, melody and notes finding their place with ease as I swayed along in the melancholy rhythm.
Soft singing joined the melody after a while, until my voice cracked and I stopped playing.
I still continued to swing, though the music was now present in my head only, I wrapped my arms around myself as the music still lingered on. The melody that haunted my dreams.
~Tearing me apart like a new emotion~
With the lid back in place and stool straightened, I stepped in front of the painting I had been working on, the lines looked so different in the dimly lit room.
I liked it better in the dark.
Turning around with the ease of a dancer, I went to pick the rose from the piano top where I had previously laid it.
Smiling I looked at the corner of the room where a sofa was laid, forgotten and buried under piles and piles of my drawings and sketches.
There was a time when you occupied that place, instead of those lifeless white sheets.
Feeling a familiar lump rising in my throat I turned away, I know you have your work,
but I still missed the days when you sat here, computer forgotten on your lap when you
opted to stare at me instead as I was finishing up my paintings, sometimes you wanted to help and afterwards,we'd be laying on the floor, covered in paint,gasping for breath with wet cheeks from the tears that followed the hard laughing.
I tried to deny that I missed those days, afraid that if I'd admit missing them, that they'd truly be gone.
The air felt too heavy and I went to open the door, hoping to freshen up the room a bit.
Opening the door and securing it so the wind wouldn't cause damage, I stood as straight as possible, trying to see the lake trough the rain and blurryness. Eyes watering when the wind prickled them.
Somewhere down the hall I hear the clock strike once and I knew that you wouldn't be back tonight,
probably more content in spending the night at a house of your many accuiantances'.
Huffing at the thought I shuffled closer to my work-table, fishing a small brownish glass bottle from the middle of all the pencils and tubes.
Shaking two pills onto my palm, I stared at them in discontent, hating the idea of an cold, artificial sleep, instead of a real and warm one, my body reacting quickly at the thought of your strong chest pressed against my back, breath tickling my neck as your arm held me protectively close to you.
Knocking my head backwards I swallowed the pills dry, throat stinging as the tablets clung at the walls of my esophagus.
I pocketed the bottle and slumped on to the floor in front of the open glass-door, wind seeming to pick up momentarily, throwing the leaves and water drops around, like they were it's personal toys.
Staring at the flower next to me, I admired the deep red of it, your smile reflecting in my mind.
You had come home, feeling bad for the fight we had in the morning, holding me tightly, whispering gentle apologies.
Ever since the beginning you brought red roses to apologize, even if the fight hadn't been a major one.
I ran my fingers along the outer petals, pressing one of them between my fingers and plucking it out. Holding it in my palm, I stared as the wind rocked it slightly, before blowing it against my face.
Each time I plucked a petal out, a new image flashed trough my mind, endless memories displayed in my eyes.
The bittersweet torture my mind seemed to present me with everyday.
~I want to breathe in the open wind~
You were smiling as you held your hand out to me, worried that I had been cramped inside four walls for over a week.
We strolled outside in a peaceful atmosphere, when you suddenly lifted me in to your arms and spun me around, your smile spreading even wider at my surprised laugh.
I remember that I tickled you, trying to get down from your arms to steady the swinging motion in my head, but you only responded by dropping me unceremoniously to the ground, advancing to get back for what I did.
We were rolling and panting, trying to dominate over the other.
I still feel your hands roaming up and down my sides, tickling the sensitive spots while also trying to block my hands from doing so to you, it had all been a mess of two guys rolling over each other, laughing and hands tangled together.
Eventually I gave up, my body felt the effects of staying inside the studio and I lifted my hands in surrender.
You grinned down at me and laid yourself on top of me.
Hitting your shoulder I tried to get you to move, too lazy to use any strength.
The smirk from you lips pressed against my neck and then your eyes were hoovering above me, making me lost in the deepness of them.
~I want to kiss like lovers do~
Your lips were sweet against mine. Soft and gentle, yet passionate and demanding.
With you, I always know where I stand.
That was the feeling you gave me with your tenderness.
Even when our family and some of our friends turned their backs to us and I tried to separate from you,
wishing that you'd be able to get back to them, you pulled me back to your side.
Promising that we'd never part, you brought me away from the old memories to create new one's, a new beginning for our own life.
Ever since then, I knew I had a place of my own, by your side.
~I want to dive into your ocean~
It had been a happy time, we were building a new home, just for the two of us.
We had difficulties, like any other new couple's would have.
The company you work for pressured you, complaining over your wish to be transferred to another city. Until that was solved out you stayed at our old place while I was already at our new home.
I spent most of my time painting the walls and decorating the house, content with getting away from the noisy city.
Though it was lonely sometimes, with no friends, you made it up to me.
Every weekend, you made sure that I was comfortable, bringing breakfast to bed and spending every possible minute next to me.
Then you transfer was complete and we were officially living in our own house.
And we were the most happiest. You even took few days off from work to finish the renovations and settle in.
It has been nearly two years now and there are still some things undone,
like painting over the handprints that somehow winded up in the faraway corner of the upstairs hallway. You blamed that on my ragged jeans and almost see trough wife-beater.
I struggle to get up, the rose now only a shredded stem in my hand.
My mind was becoming a bit hazy already as I leaned against the door frame,
cooling water drops landing on my face and gliding down my neck.
I ran my finger over a heart that was painted on one of the glass-panels of the door.
You had drawn it one day while I watching me dance.
The color had now faded and the constant sunshine had dried the paint so that it had cracked from one part.
All I could think about, was how well it fitted.
~Is it raining with you~
I step out onto the balcony, the pouring rain soon soaking trough my clothes.
The railing felt cool against my bare arms as I leaned against it, looking over the backyard and garden.
I let the stem slip from my fingers, following with my gaze as it descended towards the ground beneath, wondering what it would feel like, to drop from a high place.
Shaking my head I turn around, gazing up as the rain continued to beat against me.
~talk to me
like lovers do
walk with me
like lovers do
talk to me like lovers do~
I hear the wind howling trough the empty forest.
How long has it been since it started raining.
When was the last time that sun shined in my mind?
Shivers ran down my spine but I ignored them.
The physical coldness was nothing compared to the vast empty space that had been building inside me for some time now.
I don't remember when or why it happened, but I remember one day months ago.
One morning after you left to work, without waking me up, I began feeling the change,
or actually, I allowed myself to see the change.
~So talk to me
Like lovers do~
You didn't talk to me that much anymore, nor wake me up in the morning, even if it had been a habit for ages.
The calls you made during the day just to ask how I was doing had first lessened, then stopped altogether, and whenever I called you office, you said you're busy and that we'd talk in the evening.
But, as evening came and you returned home, almost walking past me and only whispering a quick hello, sometimes a shallow peck on the cheek as I quietly took your jacket.
Dinner was always refused, you either had to sort out some paperwork or you wanted to sleep straight away.
~walk with me
like lovers do~
Our trips to the supermarket had changed as well. Since I didn't have a car but was in charge of cooking we always went together. You'd whine cutely about on what foods you wanted to eat and we'd end up in a small quarrel over the ingredients.
You always walked close to me, glaring at people whom you thought stood too close.
Sometimes you wrapped an possessive arm around me, pulling me to walk hip to hip with you.
Those moments always made me blush and I'd quickly shuffle around to another shelf, only to look back and see you smiling stupidly, mouthing a silent 'cute' to me.
But that too had began to change, at first you'd just push the carts around, walking a little behind me, then you quit going to the store with me altogether, opting instead to wait at the nearby cáfe until I finished shopping.
I didn't bother you about it too much, until you began demanding that I make a list on what needs to be bought, so that you could shop straight after work.
I had asked you if you were ashamed of me, you only smiled and told me that it was easier that way,since you took so long at work these days.
~talk to me
like lovers do~
I believed in that, until one day.
I had received a phone call from our friends, your brother had been in a car accident, although he had gotten only minor injuries.
Immediately I had tried to reach you, but you ignored or rejected my phone calls.
It made me worry if you had heard the news already and were now panicking at work.
Without a second thought, I had hurried to reach the bus-stop a few miles away, in order to get to you.
Upon reaching your workplace I was frantic on how you were doing, making a bet with myself that you were pacing around your office, worried and nerve-wrecked over you brother.
To my surprise, I found you laughing and talking with a woman, probably a co-worker of yours.
My heart sunk at the moment for some reason, but I thought it was just the fear of having to tell you the news myself.
As I began walking across the room, the next thing I saw made me froze in the middle, heart clenching and breath hitching in my throat.
You had suddenly leaned down, draping your arms gently around that woman, blissful smile on your face.
The woman laughed into your shoulder and I could have sworn I saw you kiss her neck.
You did that to me when we were in public, since it seemed like a hug only but I still remember when you kissed my neck like that for the first time.
And ever since then, whenever we were around our friends you'd greet me like that, and none of them had realized the sweet action included in a simple hug.
Turning on my heels, I had bolted out of the room ,making a bee line to the toilet.
After shutting myself into one of the cubicles I rocked back and forth on the toilet seat,
tears cascading down and breath coming out in broken gasps.
It took me a while to calm myself down. The cool water that I had splashed on my face hid away most of the redness and the swollening in my eyes, though I knew you'd detect it, you always did.
But not this time.
You had been nonchalant when I appeared at your office, barely glancing up from your paperwork to acknowledge my presence.
You hugged me only when I stomped over to you and practically forced you arms around me,
but that only made me feel worse, the coldness from you dug deep into my skin.
The news of your brother made you react a little, but once you heard that it had been only minor and that he had been released from the hospital, you simply sighed a bit relieved and stated that it was to be expected, with the way he drove his motorcycle.
Stunned by your cold attitude I fled from there. You had always valued your brother and practically rushed him to hospital if he got so much as a splinter to his finger.
But now you had just stated that it was expected.
While barging out of your office I ran into that woman you had been hugging earlier and overheard her discussion with the reception lady.
They both wore excited smiles and I could hear your name mentioned many times, as well as weekend and trip.
And then I remembered that you had been talking about going away for a business trip on that weekend.
Anger seeped trough me and I was about to walk over and yell at that damn bitch, when a strong hand latched onto my shoulder and you stood behind me.
You were standing behind me, a stern look on your face as you asked what I was still doing there.
My answer was lost when the women noticed you and the long haired one asked what you were doing. Smirking victoriously I did a little happy dance in my head, now that woman was going to drop back to earth, she'd see that your heart was already held by me..
But yet I found myself breaking away from your grasp and dashing out of the doors,
tears forming in my eyes again.
'This is just a friend of mine who is visiting.'
The words echoed trough my mind as I ran for the bus-stop, hoping to catch the next one.
I had just gotten on and seated myself when my phone vibrated.
The text message was from you and I felt my heart skip a beat, hope rising that you were going to apologize and say that you were coming home soon, like you always did when I was upset.
But the text on the screen screamed otherwise, just a brief information for me not to wait up,since you were coming home late.
~here it comes again~
I wiped my eyes as tears flooded out, thankful for the rain that washed over me, cooling my heated skin a bit.
After that you had distanced yourself ever more, sending messages that you were sleeping over at the office.
Of course I noticed the faint trails of lipstick when I washed you shirts,
the sweet scent of a woman's perfume that clung to your clothes.
But I ignored it, I chose to ignore it. Losing you would mean I had nothing left and I was afraid to step onto nothing.
I was making a believe, hoping that it was just a phase, maybe your work just tired you and it'd be over soon, that you'd realize what you are doing and come back to me.
I doubled over as my breathing shallowed, the sharp stabbing pain in my head making gasp breathlessly as new flood of memories began running in my inner theater.
~here it comes again~
I remember looking over your calendar one day when you had forgotten it into the kitchen.
Disgusted over the marking that read lunch and the name of our favorite restaurant, the entries topped off with a small heart.
I had ended up tearing it apart, throwing the pages one at a time into the fireplace, smile growing with every page that dissolved into black ashes, hoping that the damn woman would vanish too, that you'd come back.
~here it comes again,now~
Few weeks had been more normal, I was planning to visit my teacher back at my old school.
You were helping me to plan the trip and seemed a bit more happy and clingy too.
I was overjoyed, wishing that things would finally get back to normal.
The night before my trip, you had come to my studio and swept me into your arms, kissing me passionately and then we ended up on the floor.
You took me three times that night, and in the morning I felt satisfied, my mind no longer felt the need to count how long it was since the last time you touched me.
My trip had gone well and I had decided to surprise you by returning one evening earlier.
Upon reaching home, I wondered where you were, since almost all of the house was lit up, but no-one was to be seen.
Passing the dining room, my throat clenched. On the table were too plates as well as two half full glasses of wine.
~here it comes~
Checking all the rooms downstairs I made my way up, only to notice the door to my studio ajar.
Peeking trough the crack, my heart stopped and I slid down on to my knees, teeth digging into the palm of my hand as I tried not to scream out loud.
You were there, rocking your body against that woman on the floor.
Her mouth let out little screams of ecstasy as you pounded into her.
Scrambling backwards I tried to flee, but I couldn't control my legs and ended up crawling towards the stairs.
As I steadied myself up with the banister, all thoughts of escaping vanished and I ran to our bedroom, banging the door close and sliding down into the corner, wrapping into a tight ball,
I chanted to myself that everything was alright, I was just imagining it.
There was no way you could hurt me, so I was just tired. It's not like you'd bring back a woman and bang her in my studio,right?.
What felt like hours later I scrambled onto the bed, tears long ago stopped and mind empty.
Willing myself to shake the images away from my mind I laid down under the covers,
pulling your pillow into my arms and hugging it close. Your scent filled my nostrils and for a while it all felt like it was going to be ok.
Despite the tiredness I couldn't fall asleep.
My mind was pulled back to reality when I heard the front door close and a car start.
The sand on the driveway rustled and I was sure you had left.
And that would have been good, better than the fact that you were home.
The door opened and you simply walked in, laying on your side of the bed and turning so your back was facing me.
And at that moment, I felt the last pieces of my mind sink into darkness.
~Here it comes again~
Those memories were now flooding trough my mind freely,
I had suppressed them for a long time, simply continuing with the mechanical role I had taken,
repeating everyday like before.
You probably noticed, because a week after that you took me to a doctor who described me the sleeping pills. I had turned down the offer for therapy, insisting that I was just tired from stress and badly slept nights.
Your kindness kept me going. Despite that I knew you were having ladies for each finger and toe, I didn't say anything.
You didn't bring them to our house anymore, but you weren't home that much either.
And when you were, you were either in the library or the small gym you suddenly decided to build into one of the guest rooms.
Somedays were good, you'd kiss and hold me like I was made of the most fragile substance in the whole world.In those moments, I allowed myself to drown in you, in the feelings that were only a lie.
Even though we both knew what was going on, I still welcomed your warmth.
Admitting myself to every request you made.
~Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory~
It was on nights like these that I had to fight to keep myself together,
the rain that seemed to play a symphony in synch with my heart made me wish for complete darkness.
~Falling on my head like a new emotion
(Here it comes again, here it comes again)~
I let my head drop down and my hands drooped numbly at my sides.
The pent up emotions breaking free and swirling in me,
heartbeat quickening and pulsing trough the veins in my head.
The throbbing intensified and I felt anxiousness growing.
I dropped to my knees and screamed. I screamed and pounded my fist on the floor, knuckles bleeding and voice cracking.
I could feel the sting in my throat from the sudden force, but I ignored it, the feelings were too strong for me to hold back anymore.
~I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do~
The tears were flowing again and it was getting hard to breathe.
My body was shaking from the exertion and cold.
~I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you~
The screams stopped suddenly as my mind became blank.
All the thoughts just suddenly stopped and the horrifying pressure was gone from my chest.
Regret came to me when I thought back on the past months, wondering why the hell didn't I leave when I had the chance, when I could still have fixed myself.
I sat back on my heels, unmoving.
I was already broken, a shadow that had no shape.
There was no use to leave now, I had nothing to build myself with.
He had been and still is my everything and I couldn't imagine myself without him by my side.
But we aren't happy, I am dead inside and he did notice it, but tried to keep himself busy at work and with his new partners, probably trying to deny that I was nothing but a burden to us both.
Something cold slipped inside my shirt and I brought my hand to my neck, feeling the chain that had slipped in.
Taking a hold of it, I pulled and felt the metal nick my skin before breaking off, pieces of broken chain falling to the ground.
I opened my fist and looked at the pendant you had given me on the day we got together.
I had worn it ever since then, never taking it off my neck.
As I stared at it, I knew that I'd have to let you go.
Despite the situation we were in, you couldn't bring yourself to tell me it was over.
We needed to be freed, before this continued any further.
I want you at least to be happy, since I'm no longer able to move on.
My legs have finally given up on me and there are no wings left to lift me up,
I destroyed them myself when I continued on this play.
Fishing the bottle out of my pocket, I stare at it.
Some rational part of my brain was telling me not to do it, but the tiredness was too great and the thought of rest felt so temptating.
Popping the bottle open, I poured the pills onto my palm again, two at first.
Staring at them, I shook the bottle, more of those little tablets falling and I lost count on how many there was, my eyes were clouded again and the only thought that ran trough my mind was sleep, the deep desire to close my eyes and rest
My hand trembled as I lifted them to my head level, cupping the hand over my mouth.
Bending my head backwards I swallowed the pills, few at a time.
They got stuck into the palate, but my throat didn't stung from them anymore, all the screaming and crying had numbed it.
The bottle slipped from my grasp and rolled further away from me, spilling the tablet's onto the flooring.
I thought back into the memories of us and smiled, content with the happy smiles that adored you face in them, instead of the frown you had been sporting lately.
As my mind began clouding over I fell to my side at first, staring at the door that was still open and the curtains that weaved as air seeped inside.
I turned over to my back, hands and legs spread wide.
Staring at the water that fell down, I thought that this is the last time I'm closing my eyes,
but it didn't scare me at all.
The rain seemed to sing a lullaby, joining into the poetry that the rustling leaves created.
The wind was picking up, I was sure of it, the feeling of wind brushing over me was
strangely warm and comforting, the humidy that stuck to me felt like layers and layers of memories. First the refreshing and content feeling, then as it became too much,
the distress and uncomfort, futile attempts to escape only to realize that you're too wrapped up to simply dissolve of them.
My eyes drooped down even when I willed for them to stay open, my body became numb and for a moment I panicked, but the brief feeling was over as soon as it came and I let myself relax all the way, smile creeping back onto my face.
The sound's of the rain seemed to distance more and more and I couldn't feel the wind or wetness anymore.
I tried humming that song again, but my throat gave me no response, so
I replayed the melody on my thoughts, with every beat the flow seemed slower and the melody became hazy, unorganized notes in my mind.
I'm not quite sure, but as the last notes rang trough my mind, I felt like my body was lifted upwards, strange tingling spreading trough me as something gentle seemed to brush my forehead.
And then there was darkness.